“We’re no different from women who do it as a couple, we’re just women with the desire to be mothers.”
Strong, empowered, with a University Degree and with a job that offers financial independence. This is the profile of the patients who decide to face their maternity alone or also known as single mothers by choice.
Planned single motherhood is a social phenomenon that is increasing every year. In some fertility clinics the demand for this treatment is twice as much than the previous year, already reaching 10% of the total of treatments.
This is a logical result, and numbers will probably keep increasing, if we value the change in mentality with the breaking down of taboos and the statistics that indicate the increase in the maternal age for having a first child. This undoubtedly contrasts with the fact that a large proportion of women want at least two children in their lives.
The ticking of her biological clock
Mónica was sure. She always wanted to be a mother and the idea of single motherhood came up. The ticking of her biological clock was getting louder and after her 40th birthday she decided to go to a fertility clinic in Alicante, Spain.
“I hadn’t dismissed the idea of having a child with a partner, but I wasn’t afraid of having a child alone either. After all, what children need is love,” says Mónica, now mother of a two year old, thanks to an In Vitro Fertilization treatment with donor sperm.
Women from all over Europe come to Spain moved by the quality of reproductive medicine and one of the most advanced laws. In countries like Germany and France the fertility treatment for single women is not allowed. The last one is taking the discussion to the streets right now, as the law that doesn’t allow it about to be changed soon.
Most women who decide to start a single-parent family have a strong family structure to support them. Mónica believes that without the support of her family, friends and people close to her it would have been much more difficult. “I have received a lot of support, emotional, economic, psychological kind… I can’t imagine facing the process, or motherhood without support”.
When Mónica decided to trust Dr. Sergio Rogel (IVF-Spain), the most important thing for her was to feel the human quality of the team that attended her, the empathy of the explanations and the trust. She doen’t believe that she should be treated in a special way because she is a single woman who decided to seek a pregnancy alone, “we are no different from women who do it with a partner, we are simply women who want to be mothers.
Preservation of fertility to be a mother in the future
Another type of treatment for women, that is coming up at more and more fertility clinics, is egg freezing. With egg freezing is an ultra-quick freezing of the eggs, in order to use them when the future mother is ready.
“I was going through a phase full of change, without a partner, getting to know myself better growing personally and with the aim to reinvent myself. Having children wasn’t part of my plan. But I did know that I didn’t want to give up the possibility of being a mother some day in the future”, confirms Sandra who froze her eggs at 34 years old.
A lot of specialists recommend egg freezing before the age of 35. The reason is that at tht age the egg reserve, quality and amount of eggs is decreasing.
A percentage of these women, who have decided to freeze their eggs at a young age, will probably end up forming their own single-parent family, because what they are completely sure about is that they want to be mothers even though now is not their time.
New family models, such as single mothers by choice, are already a reality. Even more so, with the most advanced medicine available that allows for the viability of fertility techniques. However, as most patients say, it is a hard process for which one must be psychologically prepared, but it is worth it 100%.